Tuesday, October 20, 2015

It's Clara's 17 th Birthday today!

Missing my step-daughter's 17th birthday today. There is really no step to it. She's every bit my daughter as if she were my own biological daughter.

I first met Clara when she was a tad over 3 years old. She had a head full of auburn red hair and was filled with charm, energy and curiosity. Then suddenly when she was 5 years old she lost her papa who she loved dearly. The two of them were so close...then he was gone.

When Clara's mother and I informed her of her dad's death Clara turned to me and said quite matter of factly that I was her father now. A humbling and sorrowful situation all around.

Her mother and I separated and later divorced leaving me without the ability to make good on my promise to be her dad. But, let me be clear ultimately it was my decision to leave Clara's mother so I must bear the burden of that horrible mistake.

The beautiful thing is is that Clara forgave me and put it behind her. She's always been a loyal and loving daughter which I will never forget.

So, sweetheart have a great birthday today and know I am grieving our separation more than ever. Part of the reason I undertook this journey was to deal with the demons of the consequences of all of the dumb decisions I made in the last 20 years.

I love you sweetie!

BR Schoenbein
October 20, 2015- Tuesday  

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