Now that we are engaged to be married Amy P and I are being peppered by well meaning barrages of questions that goes something like this: how is/are he/you going to provide for you/Amy? Where are you going to live? You two will need things to live on. How is Bruce going to support you?
These questions come quite naturally from concerned people since my pay as a Pastor isn't quite up to the standard.
Are you continuing your journey across America and taking Amy with you? Will she be able to walk those distances? Again, I understand where questions like these come from. I'm sure they originate out of concern for Amy's safety and well being. This is entirely reasonable.
However, my beef is that not one question dealt with the strength or conversely, the lack of my faith. Not one question regarding what I believe or what the nature of my relationship is with God. Do I trust God for my/our provision?
These same concerns and questions about my material safety and provision coming mostly from my family and friends reared their ugly heads back two years ago when I was about to embark on my trip. How are you going to finance your trip? What happens if you get sick? You know you can get mugged or worse! You have no financial security! You should be building up your estate at your age! Your window of opportunity is closing quickly! The roads are dangerous! You can get killed! OMG!
Yes, I know. Very true. And, yes, I do know I can get killed out on the road. Yes, if you keep watching TV and get your information from the talking heads and pundits on FOX News, you know then there are serial killers running amok from the Florida Keys to Prudhoe Bay, Alaska. And, that's OK. I'm OK. What's the worse that can happen? I die doing what I believe God called me to do?
Believe it or not, none of us, not one is getting out of this alive! I'm not kidding! Extra, Extra...read all about it! We're all going to die someday of something! So, my philosophy is then let's live like today is our last and actually DO something! Something that will last for all eternity! Something for God's Kingdom!
When a soldier is out on campaign in a combat zone he's not normally worrying about paying the rent or the mortgage back home. He's not really concerned about having a car or whether he can afford healthcare. He's only worried about advancing across the killing fields right in front of him and taking whatever town, base or other target was picked out that day by his commanders. He's concerned about just surviving THAT day and about his buddy's survival. Nothing else. Everything else is trivial and inconsequential. The Apostle Paul said as much almost 2,000 years ago.
Well...that's my worldview. Those are the glasses with which I look through now. Of course, it wasn't always like that especially before I woke up out of the deep sleep I was in for most of my adult life and finally figured out what was truly important in this dimension.
I'm never going to regret not having lots of money or owning a nice house or not having a fancy car especially when I'm lying someday on my death bed contemplating all that has happened in my life. Ive had all of those things and more in my previous life and they didn't bring me any lasting joy or purpose.
Instead, I'm going to look back on these days...without having the proverbial pot to piss in...with joy, with peace and with some befuddled amusement as well. I will revel in all of the wonderful friends I have met and in all the blessings thrown in my lap along the way. Life is for me a big grand party with one adventure following the other.
This obsession with the cares and concerns of life remains a major problem in the American Church. Too much worry. The cares of this world choke out our life with Christ. There's way too much attachment to career advancement and keeping up with the Jones's. That's one reason why Christians don't seem to look nor act differently than the world.
American culture with all the baggage that comes with it like the so-called "American Dream" has conquered the Church and not the other way around. We Christians want it all: everything the world can offer PLUS Christ! We have been warned though: We cannot serve God and Mammon. It's either one or the other. You must choose.
No sir. I no longer fear the vagaries and the inevitable twists and turns of life. Mostly, I no longer fear death. And, it's because I'm no longer inordinately attached to things and people nor even to my own life. My life is not my own any longer! It belongs to Christ...for his work. I'm now truly hidden in Christ. And, this reality has released me from living a life out of fear. As they say, "I may not know what tomorrow holds but I know who holds tomorrow."
Remember the lilies of the fields and the birds of the air?
So, excuse me if I am not as hell bent on worrying about whether I can provide for myself and my future wife. God will provide. Having said that, I do realize that working for my living is necessary. In fact, I do have a job, that of a Pastor. I will however, likely secure an additional job soon to supplement my income...if we stay in Idaho Springs.
But, to those of you who have followed my journey via social media or otherwise, know that God has abundantly provided my meals, clothing, shelter, money, friendship and every other type of provision. Will he stop now that I'm getting married? I think not. He's proved himself over and over again. I no longer question him nor do I test him. No need to. He's done it for over two years now while I have been on the road, jobless and without income.
I kicked out from under me all of the crutches I had been using over the years and threw myself unreservedly upon the merciful provision of God Almighty himself and because of that I have no regrets.
My message to all is this: Put your faith in God alone. Fear no man. Fear no--thing. Fear only God. Trust him and him only.
Irregardless of whether Amy P and I stay here in Colorado or hike to the shores of the Pacific and the Atlantic we will let God worry about the details. Whether we eat three squares a day or not. Whether we find a house or a barn to sleep in or have to pitch a tent out in the woods. Whether, we have money or not.
Remember, I've already been there. I hiked 1,100 miles across the burning hot Great Plains. And, do I looked like I'm starving?
So, relax! Come on! We are but a vapor, a wisp of smoke. We are like grass which flourishes in the morning only to be cut down in the hot afternoon. So, let's enjoy our incredibly short lives. And, remember, regardless of whether we have food, clothes, shelter or money we all end up in the same place...the grave. My grave will be right next to the banker's...you know, the guy who struggled every day to siphon off as much money out of the economy as he could in order to pay for the McMansion, the Louis Vuitton luggage and the chalet up at Tahoe. He's going to be just as dead as me someday.
Alrighty then!
To those who trust God in deed and not words alone you have so much to look forward to both in this life and in the Age to Come; so, may God bless you further with a truly abundant and purposeful life!
The pics are of Amy P and the cabin up at Bell Mountain which Bruce Bell finished recently. We are debating whether to move into the cabin or not. A lot to consider here with winter on the doorstep.
BR Schoenbein
August 19, 2016- Friday
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