Amy P and Me!

Amy P and I hiked the 8 mile round trip to the Country Store and back yesterday. About halfway there we ran into a quick forming thunderstorm, but, fortunately, we were very close to Amy's storage unit on Cty Rd 314; so, we ducked into the 10 x 8 unit and sought shelter inside until the storm subsided enough for us to resume our hike.

Once at the store we bought some exotically flavored soda pop of which there are about 200 different flavors and brands! Lunch consisted of macaroni salad and some cheese and ham cubes.

Afterwards, we headed west back to town to our current abode, the Horner House on 19th which rests up against Virginia Canyon.

Amy easily walked the 8 miles which was uphill on the way back. She didn't require any breaks unlike myself. And, unlike the last time we hiked to the Country Store she didn't suffer any blisters. She's a real trooper that lady!

These hikes are part of my training for my anticipated departure in the spring of next year. The frequency and duration of my hikes will increase until I can consistently and frequently hike to Georgetown and back, which is a round trip of 26 miles with a fully loaded backpack consisting of 45 pounds including water.

Furthermore, I'm starting high intensity interval sprinting on the off days when I'm not hiking. Doing so will allow me to build up endurance quickly especially before the cold winter clime sets in.

Now, for the news:

Amy and I have been dating somewhat surreptitiously the last few months trying to keep things underwraps a bit. The reason for the secrecy is that there are those here in this gossipy little hamlet who would be and are opposed to my dating a woman 20 years younger than myself. Amy is 36 years old.

But, more relevant to the controversial issue of the chronological age difference is the fact that Amy's cognitive impairment caused by a traumatic brain injury suffered as a child resulted in a lower than "normal" IQ.

A few days ago one of the town's clerics asked to meet with me regarding my association with Amy. I agreed to the meeting thinking erroneously at the time that a frank and objective discussion would take place. Instead, the old pharisee became agitated and accused me of being too "powerful, articulate and manipulative" for Amy...who he said is a " vulnerable woman." I guess the implication is that Amy's not in enough control of her faculties or emotions and that I have run roughshod over both in order to get my way. Whatever that means!

Well...I do not prey on the elderly nor the young for any reason whatsoever. I simply fell in love...and quite by accident after being friends with Amy for about a year and a half.

Amy has her own mind, with her own independent jurisdiction. She has her own bank account, has held down a job for 2 years or so, lives totally independently, attends church, bible studies, shops locally by herself and has had previous male/female relationships.

Her impairment is there, granted, but it's minimal. We have had great discussions along with enjoyable good times together. I have helped her after a romantic breakup, helped get her to the hospital several times after suffering multiple illnesses, walked her home at night after her shift ended at 1030pm, dealt with her insurance needs, cooked and cleaned for her and finally moved her out of her apartment after her building was sold.

I did it all and continue to do these things for her just because she wants the help and asks me for assistance...and because I care for her deeply.

In the meantime, we both fell for each other. Is that so wrong?

This type of relationship bears with it a double whammy of a cultural stigma. First, the chronological age difference. Second, the cognitive impairment issue. In not so politically correct parlance, Amy is considered mildly "retarded."

We all think we are beyond discriminating against people who are cognitively handicapped. But, let me tell you, I have seen it first hand being around Amy. That old religionist mentioned previously who I once faithfully labored with in church believes in holding fast to a certain narrative or story for Amy and those like her. That narrative is this: they need to be constantly protected and hovered over so as to prevent any and all forms of harm...or "life" from occurring. The narrative continues in that the cognitively impaired have no right to the same general happiness that we "superiorly" intelligent citizens find in mutually beneficial love relationships.

It occurs to me...and I think you too that we are all "disabled" wounded, impaired, frail human beings. Some more so, some less so. Would you deny a loving relationship or those elements that make up a happy life to those who are slightly less intelligent than we?

Would you allow Amy to marry? Would you allow her to bring children into the world with her "handicap?"

And, before some of you readers start pontificating that my old ecclesiastical friend is merely trying to "protect" Amy from the vicissitudes and vagaries of life...think again.

This preacher pal of mine hasn't been involved in Amy's life other than he knows her parents. He does not call her to see how she is doing. He does not counsel her. His wife has refused to drive Amy to her physicians office because she "doesn't have the time."

Nor, does he have any intention of meeting with her to inquire as to her desires and goals for her life. In short, he does not know Amy. Yet, both he and his wife interferes in Amy's life.

Furthermore, Amy's story as narrated from the preacher's perspective is that she must remain a spinster up to the day she dies without experiencing the joy of a husband/wife relationship while working a "menial" job and possibly living in a group home or with her parents and away from men of all kinds.

Here's where I come into play: I disrupted the narrative, the original story. I changed it. I'm showing people that Amy has her own, different narrative about her life. And, it looks all too threatening.

Oh, the risk involved here! She may suffer the break up of a relationship if she is allowed to date! She may get hurt! In other words, life may happen to her! Oh God forbid it!

Let me tell you, this generation is not only an evil one it's a weak and silly one. We are frightened of everything. We don helmets when we ride bicycles, we throw on life vests when we ply the rivers and lakes in our boats. We don't let our children play outside these days without parental supervision because of our irrational fear of kidnapping. And, the list goes on and on.

We are likewise obsessed with creature comforts to the point that most of us are situationally unable to live in the the wild for any extended period of time. And, the vast majority of us walk no farther than 1 mile per week! We get in the car even to drive to the gym, one mile away, to exercise! Geez!

So, getting back to my point, life is scary and it's not fair. It's not meant to be safe and fair. Furthermore,  none of us are getting out of this thing alive! Do you really understand that? Do you?

If we truly understood the import of that conclusion we wouldn't be so attached to our material life. We would risk more, enjoy more and chill a bit. But, we don't because we have an obsessional or irrational fear of death. So, hey, there's no way I'm going to heed God's call for my life to be a missionary in the Middle East. It's too damned dangerous!

So, I'll just stay home here in my cozy little house in the city and drive to my safe secure job sitting in front of a computer screen buckled in by my seatbelt of course. Then, once I get off work I'll rush home so I can turn on the boob tube on and get myself something to eat and plop down for a full night of "Saved By The Bell" reruns.

That's not really living; but, hey, it's safe I'll grant you that. You won't ever be kidnapped by ISIS fighters to be sure. But, then again what have you risked for the Kingdom of God? Remember, Jesus commanded us to seek first the Kingdom of God...then all these things shall be added into you? And, those that seek to save their lives will lose their lives. Those that lose their lives "for my sake" will gain their lives.

Anyway, Amy and I are dating. Where this will end up at; I don't know. I'm in an autumnal romance and enjoying it immensely. My chronic aloneness has been greatly eased. And, as for Amy, she now has someone who cares deeply for her, who enjoys helping her and keeping her company. Is that so bad?

Well, that's it for today. Talk to you later.

BR Schoenbein
July 21, 2016- Thursday